I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
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