I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
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