I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
