It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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