its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
