Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
