Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I was not drunk enough for that final.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize