take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
