and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Randomize
