TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I need water and some morals
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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