I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
my liver is dry heaving
These tits shall not be calmed
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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