evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
