Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Randomize
