I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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