I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
