and my herpes radar will keep us safe
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
