are you so shy because you have an std?
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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