I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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