Ambien. No doubt about it.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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