I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Randomize
