This is not my ceiling
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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