I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
