Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize