But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Randomize
