Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
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