just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
