I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
