Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
