I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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