I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
