I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Randomize
