rhymes with "ouble enetration"
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
