Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
