I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
