Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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