I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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