just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize
