Your dad touched me again.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
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