Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
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