If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize
