booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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