Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Randomize
