So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
