All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
The ass gains better be worth it
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