I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
FUCK WHALES
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
