there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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