just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Randomize
