I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
