ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
