He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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