What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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