hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
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