fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
my liver is dry heaving
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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