This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
It was confusing and full of hummus
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Randomize
