My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
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