So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
my sisters under your porch take her home
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
