I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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