just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
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