We're like a lot better than the average bears
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
