a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
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