I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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