I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
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